Kehityshommat, osa 1: Perusleiri

Designeri taas riehunut taas Instahipstamaticin kanssa suunnitelmistansa

Designeri riehunut taas Instahipstamaticin kanssa suunnitelmistansa

Arvoisat tulevat käyttäjämme, täällä kirjoittelee tämän sivuston mystinen kehittäjä. Tai ei minussa mitään mystistä ole, kunhan en koko kansan ilmoilla halua huudella, että tällaistakin kehitelen ihan omalla vapaa-ajallani enkä krossfittaa käsiäni känsille, deittaile deekuja tai hymise hyvinvointini hyväksi. Sen sijaan revin hiuksiani ja huudaan läppärilleni, että miten voi olla paskaa koodia, kuka tänkin perkele on kirjoittanut täysin tietämättäni kohdistaessani kritisointini ihan omia aivoituksia kohtaan.

Kuten olette huomanneet, että tämä sivusto on vielä ihan susiruma. Tai no, ei nyt ruma, kun tuollaisen sievän ja siistin teeman tulimme valinneeksi, ettei tarvitse mitään susirumaa katella. Alkutekijöissä tämä kuitenkin on, täällä ei ole mitään kivaa nähtävää, ei muiden blogeja eikä rekisteröityäkään voi (kun sitten kaikki perkeleen spämmääjät tänne tulisivat ja lahoaisi tämäkin viritelmä alta aika yksikön).

Syy tähän löytyy yksinkertaisesti siitä, että kaikkia kivoja toiminnallisuuksia, mitä me tänne sivulle haluamme, ei ole vielä edes olemassa. Hitto, emme edes tiedä, saammeko niitä edes tänne, koska designerimme on niin natsi kaiken kanssa (designerit nyt ovat aina sellaisia) ja tämä on ensimmäisiä kertoja, kun sörkin tällaista yhteisö-Wordpersua. Sitä vähän minäkin, mitä hittoa tästä nyt onkaan taas tulossa. Perkeleen designeri myi mulle idean kuin sian säkissä, sellaisia pirulaisia ne designerit.

Mutta jotten yksin huuda ja raivoa itseäni suohon, huudan ja raivoan teidän kanssa. Kukapa tätä herkkää ja seesteistä kokemusta Wordpersun rakentamisesta ei nyt haluaisi jakaa kanssaihmisiensä kanssa? Meidän älyttömän kätevältä tehtävälistalta (jota designeri osaa taas käyttää, joku saakelin asennevamma Evernoten kanssa) löytyy tällaisia rukattavia ominaisuuksia.

  1. Blogien osoitteisiin pitäisi saada kummat väliviivakkeet, kun jollain toisellakin sivustolla oli. On taas jumalation hyvä syy, ”Nokun noillakin oli”, perkeleen designeri.
  2. Mahdollisuus vain rekisteröityneille aloittaa blogin rekisteröitymisen jälkeen, sillä ei meillä vaan käsitystä miten se onnistuu ilman hirveää änkyröimistä. Tällä hetkellä pitää olla kirjautuneena johonkin blogiin, mutta eihän se nyt vaan voi olla mahdollista, koska ihan liian vaikeaa. Does not compute this logic.
  3. Kehittäjänä voin sorkkia ihan kaiken, mutta muut eivät. Etenkin designeria ei saisi päästä minnekään, se vaan menee ronkkimaan ne ihan piloille taas.
  4. ”Saada dashboard näyttämään uniikilta kokemukselta”, suomeksi, rukata koko sivu näyttämään omalta kuin joltakin ihan susirumalta WordPressiltä (designerin sanoin, se osaa enää ees suomea, jumalation).

Mutta emme me pyytele tällaisia nyt anteeksi, vaikka kuinka pahoittelisitte mieliänne tällaisesta keskeneräisyydestä (designeri saattaa, joten menkää vouhkaamaan siltä anteeksipyytöjänne). Jostain sitä on aloitettava, joten aloitetaan paskasta ja insinöörien innovatiivisten ideoiden tavoin, minäkin käsi sydämellä – ääni ohuesti väreillen – lupaan iteroida paskastakin kultaa. Tai ainakin paskan näköistä kultaa, designeri on taas vastuussa siitä, miten susiruma tää sivu on. Kaikki sen syytä, menkää sille ulisemaan.

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